New Book Alert and Review – Dating Differently: A Guide to Reformed Dating

Just off the presses and at the warehouse is the latest Reformed Free Publishing Association’s (rfpa.org) title – Dating Differently: A Guide to Reformed Dating. It is with high anticipation and great excitement that we welcome this new book. And we may add that we are deeply grateful it has been written, as it not only fills a gap in the RFPA’s publications, but also in the writings of the Protestant Reformed Churches and in the offerings of the broader Reformed book world.

The author is Rev. Joshua Engelsma, a 2014 graduate of the Protestant Reformed Theological Seminary and currently pastor of Doon Protestant Reformed Church in Northwest Iowa. It is evident from the outset that pastor Engelsma writes not only out his own life experiences in dating and entering into marriage, but also out of his own pastoral experience. The chapters breathe genuine concern for the young people of the covenant as well as love for God, the church, and his own wife (to whom the book is affectionately dedicated). As you read through the book, you feel that you are being addressed by a true friend (a tried and tested friend!) who cares about how you go about making one of the most important decisions in life: whom you will marry. Young people – even very young people – will find a faithful guide here. And so will parents, pastors, and counselors involved in nurturing the youth of the church and kingdom of God.

But let’s find out a bit more about Dating Differently. What is it about and what makes it different from other Christian books on dating?

The publisher gives the following as a brief description:

We’re bombarded with antichristian messages everywhere in life, and from casual hookups to casual sex, our culture’s messages on dating are no different.

But Christians don’t have to follow these norms. The Bible gives us a better way.

It’s a way of chastity and wisdom. A way that understands that marriage—the end goal of dating—is for life. The person you marry will shape who you become spiritually. And that person will also be the father or mother to the children God is pleased to give you some day.

Pastorally and accessibly, Joshua Engelsma answers the practical questions of Reformed, Christian dating based on the truth that we must date differently—with marriage as the goal and scripture as the guide.

That description reveals the antithetical nature of this work – so vital in this age in which we and our young people are living! The author strives to guide the young people of the church in spiritual separation from the godless world in which we live, as well as from the apostate church world and its false guidance about dating. Rather, he shows them how to be devoted to God and to Jesus Christ as they date and prepare for marriage, or are called to singleness in their Christian lives.

With regard to the specific content, Dating Differently is comprehensive, as the chapter list indicates:

1. Preface
2. Is there help?
3. Where’s this headed?
4. When should I start?
5. Who’s the one?
6. What’s there to do on dates?
7. What’s the place of my parents and others?
8. What about sex?
9. What if I’m single all my life?
10. When do I get married?
11. Conclusion

You will note from these chapter titles that Pastor Engelsma covers all the basics of dating with a view to marriage, including that question about being and remaining single, which he shows is also a good way of the Lord. And you will discern from this content that the author does not shy away from the tough issues involved with dating as a Christian – issues such as recreational dating vs. dating with a distinct purpose (marriage); who takes the lead in dating (male headship and male leadership while maintaining the full spiritual equality of the woman); the role of parents (maintaining parental authority over against the autonomy of the young man/young woman); and the place of sex in dating (none – it must be saved for marriage!).

While reading through the manuscript the publisher sent me, I was also struck by the practical nature of this book. In some cases, with very personal and practical subjects like this, pastors write out of principle (as they should!) but fall short on being practical, and the result is a book that is sound but not in touch with the real world of its main objects. That is not true of Dating Differently. Pastor Engelsma writes about dating in a most principled manner (grounded in Scripture) while also being personal and practical. Being not that far removed from the dating years, he writes as one who knows that world well and relates it practically so that young people can relate to his wise counsel. That means the book is also clear and direct without being condescending or condemnatory. Young people will receive the practical guidance because they sense the author knows his subject – and them.

Need an example of that principled practicality found in the book? Here’s a snippet from chapter 4, “When should I start?”

If you are fifteen or sixteen and consider yourself ready to date, take a moment to stop and think about the future. If you start dating now and continue to date the same person, when you graduate from high school you will have dated for two or three years. Two or three years is a long time to date, enough time for you to know whether you can marry this person or not. Are you ready at eighteen, freshly graduated from high school, to get married? As a young man, are you going to be ready to support a wife and family? As a young woman, are you ready to be a wife and possibly a mother? Or do you have plans of going to college and getting a degree? If so, do you think that after three years of dating in high school you are willing to wait through four more years of college before getting married? Is that really wise?

Perhaps there are some of you who at sixteen are ready for all this. But as a general rule, most are not. If you are going to date, be sure that you are spiritually mature.

But the book doesn’t simply cover these varied dating topics in a general or vague way. The author is Reformed and approaches all these subjects in a Reformed way. That means, first of all, that he is committed to showing young people how they must date according to the Word of God. That’s the guide he uses and points the reader to throughout. Each chapter is replete with Scripture references, and the study questions at the end of each chapter also point the reader to the Bible. Such an approach shows that the author is interested in confronting his readers with God and His way, not man and his way.

In addition, the author is Protestant Reformed, and writes from the precious and precise perspective of the PRC’s teaching on marriage – the Bible’s teaching! – often lost and forsaken in the Reformed world today. He explains that particular position in the Preface:

There are plenty of other books on dating on the market, some worthwhile, others not. In part what makes this book unique is that it is written from the viewpoint of the biblical, historically Reformed view of marriage as the union of one man and one woman for life, with divorce permitted only in cases of fornication and all remarriage forbidden while one’s spouse is living. This precious truth, still maintained in the Protestant Reformed Churches in which I serve, is applied in the pages that follow to the practical subject of dating.

It should be evident by now that I highly recommend this short but trustworthy Reformed guide on dating. I encourage our young people – and their parents – to get this book and read it promptly. And then apply it, personally and practically. Use the wisdom found on its pages. And, of course, the book will also benefit pastors and teachers, elders and grandparents, and single believers. Add it to your personal or family library. Get one for your church library. Think about giving one as a gift to your local community library. Reading and following God’s way of dating as outlined in this title will reap a beautiful and blessed covenant harvest.

The book retails for $16.95 but can be purchased at a discounted price by joining the RFPA Book Club. Visit the RFPA website for more information and for ordering.

Nota bene: I plan to return to this book in future posts for some choice quotes, demonstrating the truth of what I have posted here.

Mother’s Day 2019: A Joyful Mother of Children

Today we praise God for the gift of faithful, godly mothers in Israel. Christian husbands and fathers are called to rise up in the home and in the gates of Zion and praise them; children too (Prov.31:28). Today we do, not because the world has this day on its calendar, but because God’s Word calls us to honor our wives and mothers and because we delight to do that out of gratitude for who they are in Christ and for what they mean to our homes.

Our mothers need to hear this in today’s world of slighting and slamming our believing mothers for their sacrifice and service. To encourage and uplift them, we also post part of a Mother’s Day message Rev. C. Haak  delivered on the Reformed Witness Hour. It is based on Psalm 113:9 and titled “A Joyful Mother of Children.”

I quote part of the print version found here; if you want the audio, that may be found here. It would certainly bless your soul to listen to this message today or sometime this week.

People of God, daughters of God, the Word of God (God!) speaks of joyful mothers.  It is no myth.  God is speaking here of a joy that at bottom is nothing less than the joy of salvation, a joy in God, and a joy that God imparts to the experience of your heart as a Christian mother.  It is the joy of which Jesus spoke in John 15:  My joy, which no man can take from you.  A joy found in the knowledge that you are God’s servant, being used of Him in His kingdom—a joy that God gives to every believing mother today—every woman of God—a joy that is this, that God is your faithful God, who hath given to you a beautiful and a crucial task in His kingdom.  It is called “motherhood.”

        Our text is an example of the condescending goodness of God.  In Psalm 113 the psalmist is thinking of God in His glory and majesty.  “Who is like unto the Lord our God, who dwelleth on high, who humbleth himself to behold the things that are in heaven, and in the earth!” (vv. 5, 6).  So exalted that He must stoop down low to view the heavens!  He must bow to see the stars!  So glorious is God.

        But this God is not like the detached idols of the heathen, like the Greek gods.  Their majesty was seen in indifference.  No, for although He is high and cannot be added unto, yet verse 7 tells us that He delights to raise “up the poor out of the dust.”  The glorious God, the fullness of blessing in Himself, delights in blessing the lowly and the insignificant, the downcast and the despised.  And He delights especially in blessing His daughters, women, mothers, to make them joyful.

        Unmistakably and un-ashamedly, the Scriptures of God identify motherhood with joy.  “He maketh a joyful mother of children.”

        The word “joyful” refers to a great inward happiness, not necessarily to what we might call a bubbly, happy temperament, but to the possession of a great good—a good so great that it floods the heart and gives an abiding inward joy or satisfaction to one’s soul.  That is the meaning of joy in Scripture.

        Certainly we may show outward happiness.  But when the Scriptures speak of joy, they are referring to something within, something deep within, present even in the midst of grief, something, in fact, that grief causes to shine.  My soul, says David, “shall be joyful in the Lord.  I will rejoice in God all the day,” even in times of trial and gloom.  The picture, then, of this joy is that of the heart, of a restfulness and satisfaction of soul in God, an abiding joy possessed by every believing woman.  Sarah, Abraham’s wife, said, “God has made me to laugh.  All that hear me will laugh with me.”  Mary said, “My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior.”  Hannah, in the Old Testament, said, “My heart rejoiceth in the Lord.”

        Let us get that into our heads and into our hearts for a moment.  God gives to you mothers an abiding, inward, imperishable joy—joy rooted in God and in His grace to you as His daughters.  Do not let the world squeeze you into its mold.  And if there is any area in which the world system is trying to do so, it is in the area of motherhood today.  There is a demonic, concerted attack on the dignity and glory of motherhood as created by God.  Books, TV talk shows, politics—all proclaim that motherhood, as we understand it, is really depressing.  A career is more important.  Motherhood, we are told, can be chosen today outside of marriage.  Why should an unmarried woman be denied this privilege?  Motherhood should not stand in the way of a career.  And if motherhood threatens to interrupt your plans, then the world says you may abort your child.  Sterile operating rooms in our country slaughter millions of children, of people.  And our generation, which in hypocrisy decries the holocaust of World War II and of Hiroshima and marches in protest against the death penalty, condones and defends and insists upon the slaughter of children.  Our generation is going to have to answer one day to the Almighty!  Motherhood—we are told that that is confining, degrading, restrictive, evil.

        Now listen.  All the people of God, listen!  I do not want you to miss this truth.  Scripture informs us of this truth:  Motherhood is a joy given of God.

WORLD’s Top 25 articles for 2018 – WORLD

As we near the end of the year of our Lord 2018, it is good to reflect on all that has transpired according to the sovereign plan and providence of our almighty God in this year. That, after all, is what we believe all the events of history are – the unfolding of our God’s perfect plan through His mighty providential hand. And, we also add this, that all these events of history – of 2018 too – are for the salvation of Christ’s church and the good of His redeemed and renewed people.

Many news sources produce year-end summaries of the year’s major stories, which are useful in helping us to reflect on the more significant events of the year. World Magazine (a Christian news source) has also produced its summary of the major stories it reported online throughout 2018. It included this list of 25 items today as part of its “Saturday Series” (which often feature books, writing, reading), and I thought it worth your while to point you to it here.

What follows here is the little blurb that introduced the list; after that I post here the last five news items (which were published at the “top” of the list on their website).

In 2018, WORLD’s online readers were drawn to major cover stories and timely features from the magazine, daily news reports from The Sift, and insightful Saturday Series essays. But issues related to marriage, family, and sexuality were often foremost in the minds of our readers this past year, as the website’s weekly Relations roundup makes multiple appearances in our countdown of the 25 articles that grabbed your attention the most.

25. A long way from home

Before getting lost in a cave, Adul Sam-on found direction for his future at a Thai church and school

by Angela Lu Fulton
July 13 | WORLD Magazine | Features

24. Moody Bible Institute leaders resign amid turmoil

Moody Bible Institute announced Wednesday the resignation of President J. Paul Nyquist and Chief Operating Officer Steve Mogck amid ongoing turmoil following staffing cuts

by Leigh Jones
Jan. 11 | WORLD Digital | The Sift

23. Willow Creek elders respond to new Hybels accusations

The elders of Willow Creek Community Church in suburban Chicago said in a letter Saturday they could have done a better job holding former Senior Pastor Bill Hybels accountable for inappropriate behavior toward women

by Lynde Langdon
April 23 | WORLD Digital | The Sift

22. Facing cultural storms

Six trends that are rapidly reshaping the lives of American Christians

by John S. Dickerson
Nov. 24 | WORLD Digital | Saturday Series

21. Turkey seeks life sentence for U.S. pastor

Turkish prosecutors are seeking a life sentence for a U.S. pastor accused of participating in the 2016 coup that attempted to oust Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan

by Leigh Jones
March 13 | WORLD Digital | The Sift

Find the other 20 top stories at the link below.

Source: WORLD’s Top 25 articles for 2018 – Media – WORLD

Adoption Isn’t Charity—It’s War – R. Moore

A little while ago while sorting through today’s emails, I learned it is National Adoption Day. It was Crossway publishers who pointed me to that fact, in an email highlighting some new articles published on it’s website.

Perhaps, like me (ordinarily), you might be tempted to pass over a highlighted article on adoption, and just delete the email and move on to the next. But if you have an adopted child in your immediate family (as we do), you stop and pay attention. Because you realize how significant one adoption is. And how special one adopted grandson is.

The same is true if there is an adoption in your broader family (as there is in ours and will be soon again), in your church family (as there is in ours at Faith PRC), and among your friends (as we too have). And when you hear the testimony of an adopted son about his Christian father and the influence he had on this son throughout his life (as we heard from a dear cousin last night at a very special family reunion), then you realize the power and blessedness of earthly adoption by Christian couples and families.

A gift from God our Father to His children. A means of grace. Yes, in the life of one lost soul. Multiplied thousands of times, one soul at a time, from all over the world, including nearby neighborhoods. Taken in by love, surrounded by love, raised in love, and pointed to true love. God’s, in Jesus. So that that adopted child comes to know and embrace and confess that divine love. And rejoices (glories!) in what God has done. For him! For her! And believing parents and siblings cry with joy, and treasure God’s work.

And then you better understand the picture of a higher, greater, deeper reality – what the Sovereign of salvation has done for you (for me!), another lost orphan in this cruel world of sin and darkness. You see, you and I were abandoned by the Prince of this world (a pretentious but pernicious father!) who promised us everything but left us nothing – destitute, deserted – in reality, dead.

But that Father on the heavenly throne looked on you and me with the eyes of love (because His heart was so full of it for you!), took us up His arms and placed us in His only-begotten, beloved Son, through Whom He bought us and took us home (O, what a family He has!). And then He took the Spirit of His Son and sent Him to change us from dead sinners into living children of the Father, from utterly destitute into the richest sons and daughters in the world, and in the world to come.

Deserted no more, we have fellowship with the Father, in the Son, through the Spirit, and belong to the biggest and best family in the world (the church of Jesus Christ)! It is the grandest adoption of all! If you doubt it, read Ephesians 1-3 again. And fall to the ground in praise of that glorious grace.

And then think about what that earthly picture can mean in a Christian family and church family. And ponder its implications for us.

Russell Moore has some things for us to think about in that Crossway article for National Adoption Day. Yes, he may write from a theological perspective different from our Reformed, covenantal perspective. But he writes as a Christian man and as a saved-by-grace sinner who knows what earthly adoption means because of his heavenly one. So, listen and learn from what he says. He don’t have to agree with everything. Just take the heart of it. Because that comes from the heart of our Father above.

Here is part of what Moore writes; find the rest at the link below.

The gospel of Jesus Christ means our families and churches ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans close to home and around the world. As we become more attuned to the gospel, we’ll have more of a burden for orphans. As we become more adoption friendly, we’ll be better able to understand the gospel. We are being called to look forward to an adoptive missional church. I want to call us all to consider how encouraging adoption—whether we adopt or whether we help others adopt—can help us peer into the ancient mystery of our faith in Christ and can help us restore the fracturing unity and the atrophied mission of our congregations.

It is one thing when the culture doesn’t “get” adoption. What else could one expect when all of life is seen as the quest of “selfish genes” for survival? It is one thing when the culture doesn’t “get” adoption and so speaks of buying a cat as “adopting” a pet. But when those who follow Christ think the same way, we betray that we miss something crucial about our own salvation.

Adoption is not just about couples who want children—or who want more children. Adoption is about an entire culture within our churches, a culture that sees adoption as part of our Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself.

Source: Adoption Isn’t Charity—It’s War | Crossway Articles

A Tribute to Our Sacrificing Mothers: The Altar of Motherhood – W. Wangerin, Jr.

Ah, Mother, every summer since then I have thought of you and all of your sisters through the ages. I see you, darling, distinctly – as in a vision. I see deep, and I see this: that once there lay in the precinct of many mothers’ souls some precious personal thing. Some talent, some private dream. The characteristic by which they defined their selves and their purpose for being. To write? Maybe. To run a marathon? Or to run a company? Yes. Yes.

But then the baby came home, and then you and others like you made a terrible, terribly lovely choice. You reached into your soul and withdrew that precious thing and lifted it up before your breast and began to walk. Deliberate and utterly beautiful, you strode to the altar of love for this child and placed there the talent, the dream, some core part of your particular self – and in order to mother another, you released it. There came for you a moment of conscious, sacred sacrifice. In that moment the self of yourself became a smoke, and the smoke went up to heaven as a perpetual prayer for the sake of your children.

And when it was voluntary, it was no less than divine. Never, never let anyone force such a gift from any woman! – for then it is not sacrifice at all. It is oppression.

But never, either, dear children, take such an extraordinary love for granted. It is holy. For this, in the face of such women, is the mind of Christ, who emptied himself for us. And then again, for us.

Ah, Mother, I am so slow to know, but now I know – and out of the knowledge wherewith my own children have burdened me I thank you. From an overflowing heart, I thank you, Mother, for your motherhood.

Taken from chapter 17, “The Altar of Motherhood,” of Walter Wangerin Jr.’s Little Lamb, Who Made Thee? A Book about Children and Parents  (Zondervan, 1993; reprinted in 2004).

This comes at the end of the author’s story of his struggle to care for the household after he and his wife reversed roles for a time (including a summer when he about went crazy!). He had begun his writing career and she returned temporarily to working full time to help support the family. They both found out this could not last, prompting him to praise his own mother and his wife for their sacrificial labor in the home.

Which brings to mind my own dear mother and my own dear wife and the sacrifices they made for me and my siblings and for our children, respectively. From “an overflowing heart” I also thank you, precious mothers for your motherhood.

“…Struck dumb by the impossible beauty” of God’s grace – W. Wangerin, Jr.

One of the books I took along on vacation last week to continue reading was Little Lamb, Who Made Thee? A Book about Children and Parents  by Walter Wangerin, Jr. (Zondervan, 1993; reprinted in 2004. Mine is a first ed., hardcover).

As I have mentioned here before, Wangerin is one of my favorite Christian (Lutheran) authors. He has a way with words – sometimes humorous but always serious – as well as keen insights into the historic Christian faith and life. I came across some gems last week and decided to share a few of them here with you.

The first is taken from a chapter with the title “How Precious Did That Grace Appear,” which you may recognize as taken from the hymn “Amazing Grace.” As Wangerin describes his Lutheran confirmation ceremony (similar to our profession of faith), which involved answering questions about the Christian faith in front of the congregation (based on the Bible and the catechism of Luther), he relates the wonder of the truth of God’s saving grace – a blessed reality he came to experience more fully as he matured.

He tells of how he answered publicly and with conviction the question of his pastor “What is grace?” by quoting Eph. 2:8-9. But then, powerfully, he says this about the nature of the grace he just confessed:

I was a smart kid.

And yet I did not really know what I was talking about. I had just accomplished this most difficult task. I did it. Therefore, although I could speak well and wisely of grace, that was in itself the problem which condemned me: I could speak of grace, even glibly and casually. I was not struck dumb by the impossible beauty of the thing. I was not overwhelmed by the absolute absurdity, the flat illogic, the utter conundrum of this act of God.

Grace should not be.

In fact, by every moral and human right, grace cannot be.

Nevertheless, it is.

And without it, we die.

One ought to lay one’s hand upon one’s mouth in the presence of such a thaumaturge [that’s a great Greek-origin word to look up!] and answer nothing. One ought to confess that he has spoken without knowledge, that he has uttered things too wonderful for him, and so repent in dust and ashes.

But I was self-important in those days. I had not actually experienced love when I knew I didn’t deserve it.

Doctrine may teach us the definitions of our faith’s most fundamental truths; but the truths themselves elude us until we meet them ourselves and experience them: meet them, greet them, and find ourselves to be borne aloft by them. Then we know what hitherto we’d only learned by rote.

Wangerin is a faithful Christian husband and father and I highly recommend this book about his own godly rearing as a child and then his experience as a parent raising his own children. You will laugh and you will cry, but most of all you will grow in the knowledge and experience of that “precious grace” of our perfect Father.

 

I have another gem for you – this time about praying for a sick child. Marvelous!

Thinking and Acting Covenantally, Not Contractually – M. Horton

In connection with a critique of the avarice (greed) and narcissism (self-centeredness) of our present culture, theologian Michael Horton has some powerful things to say about the importance of Christians having a covenantal and not contractual way of thinking and living.

After describing how the contractual view of life works, where everything revolves around contracts and a conditional system of giving goods and services to one another (which can work this way too: “If at some point your partner fails to keep his or her part of the bargain, you can get out of the contract.”), Horton writes next:

A covenantal way of thinking is different. In the biblical covenants, God is the sovereign Creator and Lord. We do not ‘own’ ourselves, but we are God’s image bearers, accountable to him not only for how we relate to him but also for how we relate to others. God speaks, and we hear. Therefore, we never start from a position of autonomy [that is, ruling ourselves], electing to cede some of our sovereignty to God in exchange for certain benefits and securities. He gives us life, provides for us, commands us, and makes promises that he always fulfills according to his faithfulness. As his image bearers, then, we relate to each other covenantally: as husband and wife, as parents and children, and as members of the household of faith. In marriage, I yield my whole self to the other person and vice versa, regardless of poverty, sickness, or shortcomings, ’till death us do part.”

In a covenantal paradigm, I am bound intrinsically to God and to others in ways that transcend any good or service I can calculate (pp129-30).

A little later Horton expands on this, applying it to our life in the church as well as more broadly:

Imagine the difference that a covenantal way of thinking could make in our view of church membership, in our marriage and family life, and in our relationships with others at work and in the neighborhood. When everything turns on my free will, relationships – even with God – are contracts that we make and break. When everything turns on God’s free grace, relationships – even with each other – become gifts and responsibilities that we accept as God’s choice and will for our good and his glory (p.134).

And this, then, is how he concludes this section:

So it is not simply by understanding doctrine that we uproot narcissism and materialism. It is by actually taking our place in a local expression of that concrete economy of grace instituted by God in Christ and sustained by his Word and Spirit. At least in its design, this economy is governed by a covenantal rather than contractual logic. In the covenant of grace, God says to us, ‘I’m with you to the end, come what may.’ Only from this position of security can we say the same to our spouse, children, and fellow believers. And from this deepest contentment we can fulfill our covenants in the world ‘as unto the Lord,’ even when others break their contracts (p.135).

I find this a wonderfully refreshing and encouraging way for us to see our life as Reformed Christians – and much in harmony with the PRC view of the covenant: never a contract or agreement, but a precious relationship of friendship and fellowship with our Friend-Sovereign, the living Triune God of perfect fellowship, built on His sovereign, free grace to us in Jesus Christ. What a way to think and act – in every sphere of life!

These thoughts are taken from chapter 7 of Michael Horton’s Or-di-nary: Sustainable Faith in a Radical, Restless World (Zondervan, 2014), which I am currently making my way through. The chapter is simply titled “Contentment.”

Book Alert: “Handle with Care!” – Dr. J. Kennedy

A few months ago I was made aware of a new book produced by Dr. Julian Kennedy and today I want to notify you of it while reserving fuller review for later (cf. note below).

The book is Handle with Care! A Biblical and Reformed Guide to Sexuality for Young People (Wipf & Stock, 2017; paper & epub, 114 pp.).

You will find this summary of the book at the publisher’s site:

God’s good gift of sexuality has been corrupted since the fall of man into sin so that man in his depravity is not able to use it for God’s glory and for his own good. Sex between unmarried (fornication), adultery, including divorce and remarriage, and homosexuality are accepted as normal in modern society and young people, even Christian young people, are being influenced by this Satanic lie that “if it feels good–do it!” This booklet is sent out with the prayer that it will save many young people from heartache and the curse that these serious sexual sins will bring on them. There is the good way, the biblical or reformed way for living chastely as a single person, finding and courting a mate, and marrying and staying faithful to that mate. This booklet has been a long time since inception to publication! First conceived thirty years ago, very few copies of an older version were produced by Covenant Keepers for young people in Singapore in 2011. The original has been substantially expanded by quotations from Protestant Reformed Church ministers.

In his “Introduction” the author offers us these important thoughts on this timely topic:

This booklet aims to explain the truth about sex, love and marriage from the view of the Reformed* Faith of Scripture. God alone, who instituted the first marriage, can tell us what love really is and how sex in marriage can be used for the greatest benefit. Much will be said in this booklet that contradicts the popular notions
about sex that are portrayed in the glossy popular magazines, newspapers and on TV soaps, in films, or in novels of today, where people hop in and out of bed and of marriages, with sad and destructive consequences to themselves and any children involved. God knows that building a lasting relationship on the rock of scriptural truth will mean it will stand in the storms of life. Prevention is better than cure, so practice godly courtship and marriage and save yourself from much heartache and many problems. The statistics on cohabitation, fornication, divorce, adultery, teenage pregnancy and homosexuality even among professing believers show how God’s instructions are being ignored and it is my prayer that this booklet will help many to find God’s best in love, marriage and sex.

We thank Dr. Kennedy for his contribution to the literature available on sexuality – rare because it is Reformed. Reformed because it is rooted in God’s Word (biblical!) and the Reformed confessions of the historic church.

Knowing a book’s contents help reveal its value. I trust as you review this content of Handle with Care! that you will see its value:

Part One: What God Says
Chapter 1
Dynamite!—Handle With Care | 3
Chapter 2
Battle for the Mind—Impure Thoughts | 5
Chapter 3
Why Wait? | 14
Chapter 4
Homosexuality | 18
Chapter 5
Two Become One | 22
Chapter 6
The Proper Basis and Purpose of Marriage | 25
Chapter 7
Singleness | 29

Part Two: The Facts of Life
Chapter 8
How Does Sex Start? | 39
Chapter 9
Men versus Women—What’s the Difference? | 41
Chapter 10
Boy Meets Girl | 44
Chapter 11
Friendships | 46

Part Three: Finding the Right Mate
Chapter 12
The Meaning of Love | 51
Chapter 13
Finding Your Help Meet | 55
Chapter 14
For Girls Only | 57
Chapter 15
Courtship, Dating and Right Relationships | 59
Chapter 16
The Wedding is Soon | 79
Chapter 17
Family Planning | 81

Appendix—The Reformed Faith: The Five Solas | 89

I have requested a review copy of this new title. When I have that in hand, I will be better able to make a more full evaluation of this book.

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A Godly Mother

A Godly Mother

A special gift that God prepared for me –
‘Twas given me ere I saw the light of day;
This gift was someone specially prepared
To guide my footsteps in His holy way.

Day after day she cared for me and taught
Not just the skills I’d need for daily living;
She taught me first of all to seek His face
In joy and sorrow, working, playing, giving.

She held before me God’s own word, that it
Could be a light upon my pathway ever.
She helped me learn to sing Jehovah’s praise,
And told me of the love that naught can sever.

She taught me to confess my sins, and seek
to flee from evil thoughts and words and deeds,
To follow righteousness; stand firmly in the faith;
Turn from the wrong and follow where He leads.

So through the years, her godly walk has been
A source of strength – a life to emulate.
I thank the Lord for His gift of a mother
Who taught me reverence for His name so great.

A Mother’s Day poem written by Mrs. Thelma Westra, a fellow church member at Faith PRC. They may be found in her  collection of Christian poetry titled Poems of Praise (self-published), p.44.

Today may we rise up and call our godly mothers blessed, even as we bless the God who gave them to us (Prov.31:28). I am thankful for my own godly mother, for the godly mother of our children (my wife), and for her godly mother. You are truly beautiful women and your price is “far above rubies” (v.10). May you hear God’s honor and praise through us and your children today.

For another encouraging word to godly mothers and women in Israel, read Rev. Josh Engelsma’s post on the RFPA blog yesterday. Here’s the first part of it; find the rest at the link above.

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. The stores are stocked with “World’s #1 Mom” cards. The greenhouses are filled with husbands and children picking out hanging baskets and flower pots. Mothers and grandmothers everywhere are receiving hugs and text messages of thanks.

They are not likely to be forgotten.

And this is perfectly appropriate. For many of us we have had faithful, loving mothers. We are appreciative of their devotion, hard work, and self-sacrifice, and we want them to know it.

But there are some for whom this day is not one of rejoicing. Rather it’s a day of sadness. It’s a day in which they hold their pain close and pretend like everything is alright. It’s a day they wish would be over again for another year.

Sadly, these women are likely to be forgotten.

They might be forgotten because we don’t know about their struggle. It’s too private, too personal, and they aren’t ready to share it. They also might be forgotten simply because, well, we forgot. We didn’t stop to think about what they’re going through.

But they’re there. They’re present among us, shouldering silently a heavy burden.

Toward a Christian View of Economics – Albert Mohler

As we start our next six-day work week today, there are many things on our minds. Probably a Christian view of economics is not among those things. We have schedules to keep, hours to fulfill, and, quite simply, jobs to get done. What benefit is a Christian view of economics going to do us?

But, as we know from experience as well as from what we have been taught, perspective makes all the difference in the world. Our world and life view shapes all we do and how we do it, including our daily work.

In the February issue of Tabletalk Dr. Al Mohler penned an article for the rubric “City on a Hill” titled “Toward a Christian View of Economics,” and I believe it is a good piece for us to consider as we start the week.

The principles he sets forth apply not only to corporate economics, but to personal economics as well. When you read these, check your own personal view of work, money, and stewardship with these points. How biblical is your economics?

He prefaces his article with these words:

Regrettably, many American Christians know little about economics. Furthermore, many Christians assume that the Bible has nothing at all to say about economics. But a biblical worldview actually has a great deal to teach us on economic matters. The meaning of work, the value of labor, and other economic issues are all part of the biblical worldview. Christians must allow the economic principles found in Scripture to shape our thinking. Here, then, are twelve theses for what a Christian understanding of economics must do.

And then he gives those 12 theses, the first 5 of which I give you here (find the other 7 at the Ligonier link below). Later in these theses, Mohler has some significant things to say about the family and how healthy families factor into good economics.

1. It must have God’s glory as its greatest aim.

For Christians, all economic theory begins with an aim to glorify God (1 Cor. 10:31). We have a transcendent economic authority.

2. It must respect human dignity.

No matter the belief system, those who work show God’s glory whether they know it or not. People may believe they are working for their own reasons, but they are actually working out of an impulse that was put into their hearts by the Creator for His glory.

3. It must respect private property and ownership.

Some economic systems treat the idea of private property as a problem. But Scripture never considers private property as a problem to be solved. Scripture’s view of private property implies that owning private property is the reward of someone’s labor and dominion. The eighth and tenth commandments teach us that we have no right to violate the financial rewards of the diligent.

4. It must take into full account the power of sin.

Taking the Bible’s teaching on the pervasive effects of sin into full account means that we expect bad things to happen in every economic system. A Christian economic understanding tries to ameliorate the effects of sin.

5. It must uphold and reward righteousness.

Every economic and government system comes with embedded incentives. An example of this is the American tax code, which incentivizes desired economic behaviors. Whether they work is an issue of endless political recalibration. However, in the Christian worldview, that recalibration must continue to uphold and reward righteousness.

Source: Toward a Christian View of Economics by Albert Mohler