Speaking the Truth in Love and Taming Our Tongues

A close-knit church community is a wonderful blessing, especially in times of trial; but it can also be a hotbed for chatter about the name of others, resulting in bitter division between brothers and sisters in Christ without them ever speaking to one another.

“That I do not judge, nor join in condemning any man rashly, or unheard.” Such would be “a proper work of the devil” and would “bring down upon me the heavy wrath of God.”

And yet, all too frequently when we get together, we find ourselves talking about others. When it is trivial information (about dating, pregnancy, marriage, moving house), we discuss it that way, as trivia, in a mild and disinterested way. But, when it begins to involve what we might judge as “sin” or, in the case of a minister, “false doctrine” or “error,” suddenly the interest is piqued, the conversation becomes intense, and names are thrown around, judged, labeled and condemned… rashly and unheard.

And because the “sin” or “error” is so serious, we think the way of Matthew 18 does not apply. After all, this is public knowledge.

Not just minister’s names. It starts with what we say about the name of any brother or sister in Christ. This is a very real danger in a close-knit church community—what James calls “wars and fighting among you” (James 4:1), or what Paul speaks of this way: “ye bite and devour one another” with the warning, “take heed that ye be not consumed one of another” (Gal. 5:15).

Whereas Jesus, speaking from the perspective of seeking peace and preserving love between believers (read I Cor. 13:4-7), says, “go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone” (Matt. 18:15).

Would we bring down upon ourselves “the heavy wrath of God?” Have we already done this?

Biblical and doctrinal truth is important, but so is the truth about the name, honor, and character of the neighbor, especially when that neighbor is a fellow member of the body of Christ, and even more especially, when that neighbor holds office in the church of Christ.

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We do well to watch our words with these three questions concerning what we would say about another.

1. Is it true? Do I know it is true, or is it something I have just heard through the ‘grapevine’? Isn’t this the source of so many destructive and divisive rumors? Someone who does not know and who should not be involved, starts talking. Does what I say reflect that God is a God of truth?

2. Is it necessary? It may be true, but does it need to be said? Will my words be useful, edifying, beneficial to the one whose name I raise? Too often our words are not only a waste of breath but would be better not said.

3. Is it loving? Am I speaking about this person because I love him and in love for him? Do I speak to protect his name and reputation or to damage it? This question really gets to the heart of the ninth commandment. We must “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15).

If we would run our words through the screening process of those three questions, so much destruction of names and division between believers could be deterred. “Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth” (Prov. 26:20).

Taken from Rev. Rodney Kleyn’s article in the May 15, 2020 issue of the Standard Bearer. Titled “Taming the tongue,” it is an exposition of the ninth commandment (“Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.”) as explained by the Heidelberg Catechism in Lord’s Day 43 (Q&A 112).

This issue is still available free on theRFPA website. Lots of edifying reading here!

Put on Love – H. Hoeksema

Put on, therefore…

Holy and beloved, elect of God, above all put on love.

How strange an exhortation. …How utterly impossible it appears to heed it.

…this love of God was not poured out in their hearts as one pours water into a dead and earthen vessel that is utterly passive and in no way affected by the contents it receives; but as conscious and rational and willing children of God they tasted this love of God. They became co-workers of God, his imitators. God’s eternal purpose of love became their purpose by his grace. They will to love God and to walk before him unblameably in love, to manifest themselves in the light of love, that he may be glorified. And this manifestation of the love of God that is in their hearts, this walking in love in the midst of the world, in every relationship of life, is the putting on of love.

Put on, therefore!

Yes, put it on as a garment, but as a garment that is but the outward manifestation of the love of God that was realized in your hearts. Put it on in the word of your mouth, in the look of your eye, in the work of your hand, in the direction of your foot. Put it on in your thinking and willing, in your every desire, and in the expression of them all in your whole life, individually, in the midst of the brethren, in the midst of the world.

Through the power of his marvelous grace, let this love dominate all the manifestation of your life as a co-worker with God.

Taken from the meditation “Put on Love” (based on Colossians 3:14) in the collection of meditations Communion With God (Reformed Spirituality series, volume 2) by Herman Hoeksema, edited by David J. Engelsma (RFPA, 2011), 327-29.

” In the night of gravest human treachery he gave the gift of himself. …This is grace.” – W. Wangerin, Jr.

…The love of Jesus is utterly unaccountable – except that he is God and God is love. It has no cause in us. It reacts to, or repays, or rewards just nothing in us. It is beyond human measure, beyond human comprehension. It takes my breath away.

For when did Jesus choose to give us the supernal, enduring gift of his presence, …his dear communing with us [he is referring to the Lord’s Supper]? When we were worthy of the gift, good people indeed? Hardly. It was precisely when we were most unworthy. When our wickedness was directed particularly at him.

Listen, children: it was to the insolent and the hateful that he gave his gift of personal love.

…With the apostle Paul the pastor repeats: ‘The Lord Jesus, the same night in which he was betrayed, took bread.’ Oh, let that pastor murmur those words, ‘the same night,’ with awe. For who among us can hear them just before receiving the gift of Christ’s intimacy and not be overcome with wonder, stunned at such astonishing love? The context qualifies that love. The time defines it. And ever and ever again, these words remind us of the times: ‘The same night in which he was betrayed’ –

…Then! That same night! When absolutely nothing recommended us. When ‘we were enemies.’ Enemies! In the night when his people betrayed him – the night of intensest enmity – the dear Lord Jesus said, ‘This is my blood of the covenant, poured out for many.’ Then! Can we comprehend the joining of two such extremes, the good and the evil together? In the night of gravest human treachery he gave the gift of himself. And the giving has never ceased.

…But in that same night he remembered our need. In that same night he provided the sacrament which would forever contain his grace and touch his comfort into us.

Oh, this is a love past human expectation. This is beyond all human deserving. This, therefore, is a love so celestial that it shall endure long and longer than we do.

This is grace.

Drawn from Walter Wangerin, Jr.’s Reliving the Passion; Meditations on the Suffering, Death, and Resurrection of Jesus as Recorded in Mark (Zondervan, 1992). This is found in his meditation on Mark 14:22-25, pp.54-55.

“…Love instinctively sees the truth. Love enhances and names in truth.” ~ W. Wangerin, Jr. (on the woman who anointed Jesus’ head)

What is your name that I might address my praise to you? I don’t know. Were you someone’s mother? …Were you old, bent by years of experience? Were you a prostitute? Or praiseworthy for purity and virtue? …I don’t know. Mark never says. I know nothing about you save this: that you anointed the head of my Lord.

Ah, but that’s enough to know! That deed alone is your identity, your entire being: your self. It memorializes you forever. …I marvel at you. I pray God that I might do – and therefore be – the same.

For what was your gesture? An act of pure love for Jesus particularly. It was an act so completely focused upon the Christ that not a dram of worldly benefit was gained thereby. Nothing could justify this spillage of some three hundred days’ wages, except love alone. The rulers who sought to kill Jesus were motivated by a certain reasonable logic; but your prodigality appears altogether unreasonable – except for reasons of love. The disciples, in fact, were offended by an act that produced nothing, accomplished nothing, fed no poor, served no need. They reproached you as a wastrel.

They were offended by the absurd, an act devoted absolutely to love, to love alone.

But Jesus called it ‘beautiful.’

Who else anointed our High Priest, as priests should surely be anointed in office? Who else anointed our King, the son of David? Who else anointed the body of our Savior for burial? No one but you. I don’t know that you consciously recognized these offices of the Lord; but love instinctively sees the truth. Love enhances and names in truth. No one else anointed him and by that gesture declared him Messiah, the Christ. The act, therefore, was more than beautiful. It was rare and rich with meaning.

And since the act is all there is of you, since humility has reduced you to this single thing alone and now you are no more nor less than your love for the Lord, you yourself are beautiful and rare and rich with meaning.

You are the beauty of faithful loving.

To those who do not truly love, you will ever be ephemeral or else an offense, either a shadow or an idiot. To me you are a model. You gave up all; you became nothing at all save love for the Lord; and exactly so you are remembered. Here, ‘wherever the gospel is preached in the whole world,’ is love’s monument!

You, nameless, anonymous, lovely indeed: thank you.

Drawn from Walter Wangerin, Jr.’s Reliving the Passion; Meditations on the Suffering, Death, and Resurrection of Jesus as Recorded in Mark (Zondervan, 1992). This is found in his meditation on Mark 14:1-9, pp.43-44.

A Valentine Word Wednesday: Amare, to love

On this Valentine’s Day 2018, let’s use it for a “Word Wednesday” and consider the Latin word for love, amare, with its common base forms ama and amo.

In the Dictionary of Latin and Greek Origins: A Comprehensive Guide to the Classical Origins of English Words (Barnes & Noble, 2000 –  co-authored by Bob Moore and Maxine Moore) we find this entry, along with this description and explanation of the word:

An AMAteur is one who plays for the love of the game rather than for money. When something is said to be AMAteurish, however, it is considered not only unprofessional but inept, inexpert, and inadequate as well.

…An AMOrous person is one who tends to fall in love; amorous or AMAtory literature is concerned with love. An AMOur is a love affair; to be enAMOred is to be inflamed with love. “We were enamored of the the colorful countryside.”

An AMOretto is a cherub or cupid. An inAMOrata is a female lover. An inAMOrato is a male lover [that is, in licit relationships]; if it is an illicit affair, he or she is a parAMOur [from the Greek preposition meaning one “beside or along side of” your true love].

We remember, of course, that God has the first, the last, and the best word on love, as revealed in His holy Word. Because He IS love, and manifested His love for us in Jesus Christ. Dwell on this love.

“O love the LORD, all ye his saints: for the LORD preserveth the faithful, and plentifully rewardeth the proud doer.” Ps.31:23

“He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.” Song of Songs 2:4

“Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.” Song of Songs 8:6,7

“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” Jer.31:3

“I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him.” Hos.14:4

“As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.” Jn.15:9

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom.5:8

“And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.’ Eph.5:2

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” Eph.5:25

“And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you:” I Thess.3:12

“Let brotherly love continue.” Heb.13:1

“My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” I Jn.3:18

“Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.” Jude 21

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.” Rev.3:19

 

Theology That Manifests God’s “Compassionate Presence” – K. Kapic

Faithful worship must embrace not only God’s highness but also his compassionate presence. It must celebrate not only God’s might but also his mercy in the midst of human sin and misery. …Simply put, a faithful theologian is someone who – like the psalmist – knows that God’s glory is gracious and that his grace is glorious.

…Since it speaks about God, faithful theology must reflect God’s compassion and care for us and our neighbors. If we are to pursue theology faithfully, we must contemplate the value God places on those who are the most vulnerable and in need. We must be, in a word, anthroposensitive. Knowing and loving God leads us to love those he loves and to think and write theology accordingly.

…Knowing God gives the knower a concern for the vulnerable. To know God is to love God, which results in the transference of his interests and concerns to us (1 Jn). When God’s people lose this concern, God declares their theological talk and religious services empty, even offensive. This observation should sober all theologians, professional or lay: God judges our theology faithful or false by our attitudes and responses to those in need. Theology that lacks compassion and action is no theology at all.

God’s love has a particular bent toward those most in need: by extending ourselves toward those who are vulnerable we reflect and replicate the love that met us standing empty-handed before God. We are the poor, the wounded, the needy. When others look more poor, wounded and needy than we, we may perceive them as an inconvenience of threat. But if we neglect them in our talk about God – well, what more emphatic way is there to condemn ourselves? We are prone to lose sight of this in our theologizing, even with how much we talk about ourselves as sinner.

Taken from chapter 8, “Suffering, Justice, and Knowing God” in Kelly Kapic’s A Little Book for New Theologians: Why and How to Study Theology (IVP Academic, 2012), pp.80-92.

Selfish Ambition vs. Loving Service – M. Horton

This [the Scripture in 1 Cor.12:15-23] isn’t every person for himself, but all for one and one for all: Christ for us and then us for each other. It may not make any sense to people around us, but when a brother or sister falls down, we do not keep running, much less demean them, but turn back to pick the person up. If necessary, we carry him or her to the finish line. In the old age that is passing away, under the reign of sin and death, I didn’t shoulder other people or let them carry me. In the dawn of the age to come, however, I am free to bear their burdens and to allow them to bear mine (Gal 6:2). As my generation used to sing, ‘He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.’ ‘Above all,’ Peter exhorts, ‘keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet 4:8). Peter isn’t saying that our loving acts atone for sin. Far from it! Peter’s astonishing point is that love hides the faults of other rather than making a spectacle of them.

Christians should be some of the most conflicted people in the world. It is far simpler to be dead to God and to live for oneself. But Christians must struggle against their selfish ambition because they are alive to God in Christ Jesus, and the indwelling Spirit turns on the lights to enable them to see their sin. The old Adam in us thinks we’re crazy. Thinking more highly of others than you do yourself is not the way the world thinks. Follow that logic and you’ll be left in the dust, he counsels. Love is fine in the abstract, but how can you love someone without doing some sort of cost-benefit analysis? There is a calculus here: you have to balance community and autonomy. But both of these ideals are motivated by the selfish horizon of this present age.

Taken from the next chapter I just read in Michael Horton’s Or-di-nary: Sustainable Faith in a Radical, Restless World (Zondervan, 2014). This was chapter 5 – “Ambition: how a vice became a virtue” and the quotation is found on pp.92-93.

Loving Leaders in the Home – T. Witmer

As we mentioned two weeks ago, the November 2017 issue of Tabletalk is on “Leadership.” One of the main articles I read yesterday is by Dr. Tim Witmer (author of The Shepherd Leader at Home) and is titled “Leaders in the Home”.

In his article, Witmer treats the leadership role assigned to husbands and fathers as prescribed by God in His Word. While he begins with the calling of wives to submit to their husbands, it is the section on the calling of husbands that I focus on today. Because I need this reminder as God’s appointed leader in my own home, and I believe my fellow husbands/fathers do as well.

Witmer heads this section of his article “Husbands: Loving Leaders,” and this is part of what he has to say in connection with the kind of loving leadership we are to provide:

The wife is called to a difficult role, but it is a role that will be much easier to bear if her husband fulfills his responsibility to provide loving leadership. It is interesting to note that Paul addresses forty words to wives but 115 to husbands. In Ephesians 5:25–33, he describes the role of husbands in marriage. The key is verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

What is the standard of love that is set before husbands? It is the sacrificial love of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is His loving servant leadership that provides the environment for wives to follow. Let’s see how Christ’s love sets the example for the love of husbands for their wives.

First, Christ’s love is unconditional. There was nothing about you or me that deserved or required Christ’s love. Quite the contrary, “God shows his love for us in that while were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). Not only did we not love Him, but we were heading the opposite direction in our sin. It is the classic case of unrequited love. This is why our relationship with Him is solely by His grace.

Our love for our wives must be unconditional as well. We have to admit at the outset that the analogy breaks down because we are sinful human beings. We must admit that there were “conditions” that attracted us to our wives including personality, interests, and even good looks. However, our love for our wives is grounded in the commitment that we made in our wedding vows in the presence of God and witnesses. Your love for your wife must be unconditional in that it does not change based on circumstances. Husbands need to beware of communicating to their wives that their love is based on how they look today or how they respond to them today. Our love is based on commitment, not conditions.

Good food for thought as we begin this week. To finish reading the article (good for wives/mothers too!), visit this link at the Tabletalk website.

The Proper Use of All Our Gifts – J. Calvin

The proper use, then, of all the good gifts we have received is the free and generous sharing of those gifts with others. No more certain principle nor more effective exhortation for keeping that rule is imaginable than this: Scripture teaches us that all the gifts we utilize are given to us by God. And they are given along with this law of our faith – that they be put to use for the good of our neighbors.

But Scripture goes even further than this when it compares us and the gifts we’ve been given to the members of a human body. No member of the body exits to serve itself, nor does each member exist merely for its own private use. Rather, it puts its abilities to use for the other members of the body. Nor does any member of the body alone receive any advantage from itself outside of that which belongs to the entire body. Whatever, therefore, a godly man is able to do, he should do it for his brothers. He should consider his own interests only insofar as he sets his mind on the general edification of the whole church.

Let this, then, be our rule for kindness and benevolence: We are merely stewards of whatever gifts God has given us in order to help our neighbors. We must give an account of our stewardship, and right stewardship is that which is fueled by the rule of love. Consequently, we must not merely join zeal for the good of others with concern for our own well-being, but we must submit concern for our own well-being to the good of others.

Taken from the fresh translation and edition of John Calvin’s short work on the Christian life,  A Little Book on the Christian Life (Reformation Trust, 2017). This is taken from the end of chapter 2, “Self-Denial in the Christian Life”, pp.36-38.

23 Things That Love Is

23 Things That Love Is.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day comes this post from Christian counselor Paul Tripp laying out twenty-three traits of true love (posted Feb.10, 2015).

Whether you are married or single, hopelessly “in love” or presently “out of love”, these are the characteristics of the love that the God of love has shown to us. And therefore, no matter what our current state may be, this is the love we must show to those closest to us as well as to those neighbors whom the Lord sets on our path, including the unloving and hateful.

And if you have any doubt about the nature of this love, read 1 Corinthians 13 again. And again.

This is Tripp’s introductory note and the first 5 of love’s traits. Find the rest at the link above.

Last year I posted an Article with a long list of definitions of what love is, 23 definitions to be exact. Since you and I have the tendency to be distracted and forgetful, I want to post that list again.

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, here’s a gospel-centered reminder about how to love. But, you don’t have to be romantically in love to find this list practical. Every healthy relationship requires love and sacrifice, so if you’re a parent, child, sibling, neighbor, pastor, or co-worker, this list is for you.

God bless you in your relationships, and may the Holy Spirit empower you to love with a love that is not your own.

1. LOVE IS… being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others without impatience or anger.
2. LOVE IS… actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental toward another while looking for ways to encourage and praise.
3. LOVE IS… making a daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses.
4. LOVE IS… being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding.
5. LOVE IS… being more committed to unity and understanding than you are to winning, accusing, or being right.